Monday, May 2, 2011

Monday Miss-Haps!!

I think I jinxed us....

You see, last week I was thinking of my blog. Sometimes I go a long time without posting. I hate it, but sometimes I feel like there's just nothing to write about. I mean, you guys don't want to read about boring stuff. If you read numero dos here, you'll see that my life has become fairly ordinary. It's the same thing day after day after day around here. Who wants to come here and read about driving kids to school, laundry, and cooking??!? B-o-r-i-n-g, right?
Anyway, back to how I jinxed I've been thinking about my blog for awhile now. Why I've had the blog almost a year now, and I'm still stuck at 19 followers. I know lots and lots of other people read it, and I know this because behind the scenes I know how many "hits" I have per day. Sometimes I'll get over 100 "hits", but no one is clicking the ever so important "follow" button right there along the right column. So obviously people are visiting and not liking, and in turn not following. Hmpft...

So I gotta do something here folks. I think of the other blogs I read. What do they have that I don't? Well, they are funny writers, so people follow them, but I can work on that. They do giveaways, but I can't do that really until I get more followers. Some blogs have over 50 comments on a post!! Yowzers! I don't even have 50 followers to comment!! Yeesh...

Looks like it's all coming down to these dang followers. I need more followers. But how do I do that? I've told everyone I know about the blog. I've begged people to please click that pesky little "follow" button. Promised them that they don't have to do anything, don't even have to read it if they don't want to. Just click that damn button people!! I've even thought about going in and making a bunch of fake Google accounts, under Gertrude, Esmerelda, Bertha, Dolores, Myrtle, Winifred and the like and just follow myself!! I'm about to drop at the feet of my friends that aren't following me yet, and cry, beg, plead, and "ride" on their feet like a 2 year old until they promise to follow.

OK, back on track! The point is I need followers, so how am I going to get them? I am going to have a "back up plan" for the days I don't have anything to write. Case in point Tuesday Trivia, Thursday's Three, and Save My Sanity Saturday. I am going to start linking up with the popular girls ( high school!!)! Case in point Pour Your Heart Out Wednesday with Shell and Flipp-Off Friday with Momma Kiss.

OK...all that to tell you how I really jinxed us! So Monday's I decided would be "Monday Miss-Haps", because usually something goes wrong over the weekend, and surely I can find some miss-hap that has happened to us. I usually write my posts a day or two before hand so that in the morning I can just publish the post, and it's there bright and early for those of you who actually follow AND read!! Ahem *cough*cough* just sayin'...

So all weekend I'm trying to think about today's post. It's a fairly quiet weekend so to speak. Saturday Mr. Goose Poop took all the boys to the cottage to fish. They were gone all day. Surely he'll come home with some miss-hap. Someone fell out of the boat, someone caught their brother instead of a fish, someone snagged a shoe instead of a sunfish. Nope! All was quiet and well. So while the boys were gone I took McKenzie and my niece to the mall. Oh how I loath the mall. Call me old if you so desire...but I hate it. Surely something will happen since I'm old and hate the mall. Nope. Boring day at the mall. Spent too much money on pretzels and slushies, girls dragged me to every teeny-bopper store imaginable, but no miss-haps. Great, now what am I going to write about? Don't they know I have a blog to write. Followers to try to lure in??

Now it's Sunday, and still empty handed. Mr. Goose Poop was going to hang trim all day with the boys, and McKenzie and I were headed up to school to decorate for teacher appreciation week. Nothing exciting.

Mr. Goose Poop left with the boys to run to Lowe's to get the trim. And Kenz and I headed out to pick up some last minute decorations.

And then it happened. The Monday Miss-Hap. I'm strolling the isles of the Dollar Store, and my phone beeps.

It's Mr. Goose Poop.
Me: "Hello Dear!"
Him: "Well, looks like we're going to be here awhile!"
Me: "Why? Everybody else decided to do home improvements today, too?"
Him: "Nope, someone hit the van!"
*Shame on me, cuz now I'm totally not concerned with the van...I'm thinking it is. Monday's post! What?!? He's talking right? Everyone must be ok!!*
Me: "What? What do you mean 'someone hit the van.'?"
*Crap...did I pay the insurance this month?? Or is it in that stack of "papers" that stares me down every morning?? Cuz that'd sure make for a much more interesting miss-hap!*
Him: "I was parked in the parking lot with the trailer behind the van, and some dumbass didn't see the trailer, whipped into the parking spot, and ran right up the trailer!"
*Oh shit! This is my dad's trailer. That we didn't ask to use. That we went to his house to get. While they were probably waiting at church for us to show up. Shit!*
Me: "Is the trailer ok?"
*Not, "Are you hurt?" Not, "Are the boys okay?"'s, crap, dad's going to kick my ass!*
Him: "I think so, it's scratched up a bit, but looks fairly ok. Can't say as much for the van though! I went in to Lowe's and they are going to pull the security tapes to see who did it."
*Oh good, the trailer is ok. Who cares about the van, we can deal with that later. We can still go fold the trailer back up, scootch it back in dad's garage, and he'll never be any wiser.*
Me: "Ok, good. So we can just--"
Him: "Great, it bent the ball all to shit. I can't pull this thing like this. It pushed the hitch up too. I'm going to have to call dad!"
*Panic. Breath, Mrs. Goose Poop, breath! There are worse things, right? Aren't there? No, nothings worse than skipping out on church with your parents, going to their house and "borrowing" their trailer, then it getting hit in the parking lot. Crud...*
Me: "Ok, call dad and let me know what happens!"
*I'm running away. Far, far away!*

So, come to find out...they guy drove up on top of the trailer because he didn't notice it. You know, until it was under his car!! Mr. Goose Poop called the cops, but they won't come out since it was in a private parking lot. Told him to get the guys insurance info, and if he won't give it to him, then he can call the cops and they will come out. Mr. Goose Poop tried to get the guys insurance info, guy said he didn't want to give it to him. He didn't want his rates to go up. Mr. Goose Poop said then you shouldn't have drove up on top of my trailer!! And if he didn't want to give up his insurance info he'd be calling the cops. Guy says he'd been driving around with a hole in his bumper for years and we could too!! Mr. Goose Poop says he didn't care what condition his bumper was in, we wouldn't be driving around with a hole in our bumper. Guy finally give up the info.

Mr. Goose Poop calls dad. Mom and dad come out with a new ball to tow the trailer home. We can't because our hitch is bent to shit. Dad's not mad. Says we are welcome to use his stuff any time we want, this time it just didn't work out so well. Dad said the trailer is a goner. It's bent to shit too. But luckily he thinks the trailer absorbed most of the hit, and that our hitch and towing package will be fine, but to make sure we get it looked at!
So now I've got to deal with insurance companies, and body shops.!

So you see...I jinxed us! All was just fine and well until I got all crazy mad that nothing miss-happ-iness had happened to us. Then *bam* the van gets hit! 'Least it made for a good story, huh? Hope your Sunday was better than ours!!


Post a Comment

C' me some love! Leave me a comment!