I only dust my clocks twice a year...

...and I'm totally ok with that!!

And truth be told, I'd neva eva do it if we didn't observe Daylight Savings Time!

You see, my clocks are up high. Like 7 1/2 feet high. So unless you're 7 3/4 foot tall, you'd never see the tops of my clocks. And I'm ok knowing that the tops of my clocks are covered in a half inch of dust most of the year. I'm totally ok with it. Actually, like I said, if it weren't for Daylight Savings Time, I'd never even bother to dust the tops of my clocks. Who cares? It's the top of the clock. No one's ever going to see it. ('Cept my madre maybe, she's tall and has a sonic dust radar!!) And usually the clocks don't even get dusted right after the time change. It usually takes about 2 or 3 months for me to change the time. I change the time on the alarm clocks, the stove, and the microwave....and that's about it. The analog clocks? Not so much. That is until Mr. Goose Poop and the gooslings have had enough.

I know what clocks are right in the house. I know what clocks you have to subtract an hour from, or add an hour to, or which ones are 18 minutes fast (face it, we ALL have a clock in the house at least 15 minutes fast, to keep us on time or make us feel like we are tricking the time gods and stealing an extra few minutes of shut-eye!). You see, I know all this. I do it on purpose. But it annoys Mr. Goose Poop. He looks at the clock, and it says 8:00. He tells the kids to run upstairs to get jammies on and brush their teeth. I look at him like "Huh? An hour early?" He says "What was that look for?" Then I have to tell him "Babe, it's only 7:00." He gives me a look like "Why is it 7:00, but our clock says it's 8:00?!?" Cuz I'm too lazy to climb up on the couch, take down the clock, DUST IT, change the time, then climb back on the couch to hang the dang thing back up honey!

For four Sunday's after the time change, he's rushing kids thru cereal, dressing, and teeth brushing. As the last kids comes sliding down the stairs, he's grabbing the keys to go start the van. I ask him why he's starting the van so early. He says we gotta go! No honey, church doesn't start for another hour and a half! It's only 7:45!! He looks at me. Four Sunday's this happens. So finally I get annoyed by the looks! So I climb up on the couch, take down the clock, DUST IT, change the time to the correct time, then climb back on the couch to hang the dang thing back up! Then Sunday comes....and he's taking his sweet time getting ready for church. I'm running around, rushing kids, and he's drinking coffee...in his jammies! What is he doing?!? I ask, more like yell at, him to hurry and start the van. He grins and sarcastically says "Why honey, church doesn't start for another hour and a half!" He thinks I'm playing a trick on him. Trick nothing....we're going to be late!! I tell him, more like yell at him, NO IT DOESN'T!! It's 8:45, c'mon, we gotta go!! He says "But you can't trick me, the clock may say 8:45, but I'm on to your 'weird time keeping antics'. It's really only 7:45, plenty of time to drink my coffee and watch a little Sports Center!" "No, no, no...I changed the clocks to reflect real time. No more adding to this one, subtracting from that one!" He looks at me!


It's weird, I know. But when I actually change the time to normal, it screws me up. Then I become confused. Can't remember if I changed them or not. Can't remember if I have to still add an hour to the time. I like my way. I'm used to it. In fact one year, I didn't even change the clocks at all. All year long, I knew I just had to add an hour to those few clocks I didn't feel like dusting. Then when it was time to change the clocks an hour back, I was ahead of everyone else, already had it done...a year before!

Moral of the story...never trust a clock at my house! If the clock says 8:00...you never know, it could be 9:00, it could be 7:00. Hell, it might even be 8:18. But one thing you can be sure of...if the clock say 8:00...it's not 8:00!!

But I'll still carry on only dusting my clocks twice a year at most, and I'll still be ok with that!