Monday, November 22, 2010

My weekend was... not rainbows and butterflies!!

...more like rain clouds and spiders. Big, black, hairy, icky spiders!

**Warning...long, boring vent!!**

It wasn't supposed to be this way. We had plans. Fun plans. Going-away plans. Plans the kids were excited about. It was supposed to be a fun weekend. My version? Not so fun. And I'm not all that proud to admit it.

I never want people to think our life is nothing but rainbows, sunshine, and butterflies. It's not. It's so not. But, I also don't want to write a depressing blog. Where you come and read and get depressed. And in turn, never come back. I don't want to air our dirty laundry on the Internet. Arguments between Mr. Goose Poop and I, and fights between the gooslings...happen. Everyone knows that, so why write about them, right?

But...but...sometimes you just gotta get one out. And this is that "sometimes"....

We were planning on going to Mr. Goose Poop's dad's for the weekend over in St. John's. Everyone was excited. He owns a photography studio (random shout out, check them out... they are awesome), and from August til December the man is so busy, we rarely get a chance to see him. So this was a treat. The kids were gitty with excitement, as were their parents.

Have you ever packed 9 people for the weekend? It's alot of work. I repeat, it's alot of work. And not only that, but we (as in "we" I mean, "I") usually do all the cooking for the weekend. It's much easier for me to cook for one more person, than it is for him to cook for 9 more people. Plus, I always make sure to have leftovers, and stock his fridge for a while. And, and...remember all that baking I did a few days before?? Yea, I stocked his freezer full of baked goodies too. Anyway, I pack and have everything ready to go. Groceries for the weekend, everyone's clothes, slippers, pillows, sleeping bags, toys, shower stuff, hats/gloves so they can play outside, movies, E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. we'd need. I get it all packed in the van, I lay out clothes for Mr. Goose Poop to wear when he gets out of work. I packed everything in the van, so when he does get home, we can hop in and go. I'm not tooting my own horn here. Mr. Goose Poop told me to wait for him so he could help pack. What I'm trying to show here is, I worked hard to try to make the trip smooth and fun.

Now I'm a little stressed, the kids are jumping off the walls, Mr. Goose Poop gets home in not such a stellar's just a little crazy around here. Mr. Goose Poop and I are trying our hardest to keep our calm. We understand the gooslings are excited. We understand they were ready to leave hours ago. But it doesn't make it any easier. Mr. Goose Poop packs all his hunting stuff, shoves it in the 1"x 1" space in the van I left him, and we hit to road.

I won't bore you with all the details, but before we hit the 25 mile mark, Mr. Goose Poop has already said "...we are not too far from home to turn this van around and go home!"

Never a good way to start what is supposed to be a fun weekend!!

It was a weekend alright. A. very. long. weekend. A very long and stressful weekend!!

The kids were out of control. And that's an under-statement! They were routy. They were naughty. They were mean to each other. They were fighting. They were crying. They were screaming. They were running laps around the house. They were getting into everything that they weren't supposed to. They were complaining. They were hungry. They didn't like what was for breakfast. They didn't like what was for lunch. They didn't like what was for dinner. They wanted more snacks. They were bored. They were grumpy. They wanted to stay up later. They were yelling at each other. They were mean. They. Were. Terrible! Awful!

I have alot of patience when it come to the kids, I'll give myself that. But come Saturday night around 8:00, I asked Mr. Goose Poop if he could put the fear of God, I mean, watch the kids for just 20 minutes, while I went upstairs and had a few minutes to myself to read my book. It was that bad. In fact, I think that may have been the first time I'd actually hadituptohere, that I had to remove myself for a few minutes so that I (didn't beat each an everyone of them) could collect myself.

Come Sunday afternoon, when things didn't improve, and it was the second time I'd hadituptohere, I threw my hands up. I surrendered. I let them yell, argue, fight, scream, what ev. I couldn't even handle it anymore.

To top the weekend off, Mr. Goose Poop went hunting...and didn't get anything. He was right out in front of the house where there are usually lots of deer in the field. He saw one the first morning, I gathered the kids in the front window so they could see dad shoot this deer. He didn't. Said it was too small. Come Sunday night, when it ended up being the only deer he even saw, he was kicking himself for not shooting it

We packed up, loaded the van back up, and headed home. I tried to turn the weekend around, and on the way home we decided to count how many houses already had their Christmas lights on. I think we go to 58 houses. Oh yea, and on the way home, we're driving, minding our own, shit...a deer. Mr. Goose Poops hits the breaks. We miss him. Then here comes the other one, he hits the breaks again. Harder this time. Tires squeal. The van fish-tails a little. We don't miss him! Yup, we clipped the ass end of the deer! Mr. Goose Poop pulls over, we hop out to check the front of the van. Thankfully, no damage. Though some deer out there has a major ass-ache. We didn't hit him hard, but we clipped his ass end, and shoved him a good ways. He gathered himself, and ran away.

And it doesn't even stop here! Are you still with me?? It gets...well, it goes on!

We get home and start homework. Mr. Goose Poop unloads the van, and puts stuff away. Then he has to go run a few errands. So I'm here. Alone. With the kids. We finish homework, do a little reading. I decided to let them have a piece of Halloween candy before bed. Why? After they've been so outrageously terrible this weekend you might ask??! I don't know, but I did. Now it's bed time. I bring the troops upstairs and tell them to get jammies on and brush their teeth. I'm busy emptying suitcases from the weekend, and trying to get the morning's clothes out. I over hear kids in the bathroom fighting about who's going next to brush their teeth. Fighting because one supposedly "cut" in front of the other. Really? C'mon!! Then it happens. I completely and totally loose my marbles!! Lost them! As in rolling all over the floor, with not even one left in my noggin! Gone!

I turn into this fire breathing, screaming monster. I'm yelled some, I screamed some, I yelled some more. I did some things I'm not happy nor proud about. But I'm being honest here. I totally lost my cool. I threw my hands up, left the mess I was in the middle of, and told them they can put themselves to bed. I left every light on, didn't turn the night light on, and worse of all I didn't say prayers with them. I stopped what I was doing, and stormed down the stairs. They cried. I didn't care at that point. They kept crying. A few came downstairs to ask if I was going to come up and put them to bed and what they were supposed to do. I said, I don't know, but I'm done for the night. They cried more. I turned the radio on, and up!!! McKenzie came down a few minutes later with a card she made me. I ignored her. I'm not proud of that either. But I was steaming mad at the moment. She kept asking me to read it. I kept ignoring her. She said please mom this is important to me. I told her yea, it's always important AFTER mom looses her marbles. Then everyone seems to care. But when I'm calmly explaining to them that I've hadituptohere, and that I'm about to loose my cool, and it's important to me that they listen, they don't. She starting crying and took her sorry self upstairs. Then I started crying. I felt awful. My stomach got upset. I just wanted to go upstairs, tell them all I'm sorry, how much I love them, and hug them until they turn 18. But I didn't. I just cried. And so did they...

Then Mr. Goose Poop came home. I started crying all over again before I could tell him I lost my marbles on the kids. He hugged me. Held me. We talked. I cried. We decided the course of action we need to take. I cried. He hugged me again. Held me again. I cried.

I feel awful about my actions over the weekend. I'm not proud of them. And I'm ashamed at how I handled the situation. But, it happens. I know that. The kids know I love them. But they also need to know when enough is enough. And this weekend was enough.

So you see, our life here isn't always rainbows, sunshine, and butterflies.

Sometimes it's clouds, rain, and spiders.

But we're a family. And we'll get through this like God wants us to. As a family. We'll work out this kink. Together. For He will pull us through.

Listen to advice and accept instruction,
and in the end you will be wise.
~Proverbs 19:20



You amaze me! I hope that you find the time to give yourself some credit--heck, EXTRA CREDIT! You are a great mom, a great wife, a great friend to many. You are exactly right by saying that God will help you through this. He brought you there, he will get you through it. Trust in Him completely. In the meantime, maintain that awesome sense of humor that you have (love the line about the deer's buttache)it will take you far!

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