Monday Miss-Haps!

Embarrassing story forthcoming....

So this week's Monday Miss-Hap has to do with me. In an embarrassing situation. Here it goes...

So Mr. Goose Poop and I had just ordered our new bed, and it was to be delivered in a few days. We upgraded from a full to a queen, so none of my sheets and what-not were going to fit (plus I really wanted a new get-up!!). So I search town. Can't really find anything.

One day I'm out and about, no kids, and pass Burlington Coat Factory. I hadn't been in there in years, and thought maybe they'd have something. It was worth a shot.

I go in and head for the Linens Dept. On my way, I see racks and racks of sun dresses. I'd been in the market for some new sun dresses, so I stopped to browse. I found one I loved...and it was $10 (or was it $15? I can't remember, all I remember was it was cheap). So I pick up the large. I usually wear a large. I hold it up to myself, and it seems way, way too big. So I take a look at the medium. Looks like it'll fit.

I meander over to the fitting rooms, find an empty room, and undress. Here's where it gets embarrassing....

I usually put a sundress on over my head. So, like always, I did. It was a little hard to pull over my head, but like I said...I'm usually a large you know, for my big boobs!, but I was trying on a medium.

I get it on, check out my butt in the mirror and decide that I absolutely can't live with out it. I'm totally getting this dress.

Deal's done, right? Well...

I go to take it off. Ha...

Double Ha....

I go to pull it over my head. Ain't happening.

So I pull it back down, slip my arms out of the straps and was going to pull it down. Triple Ha...

Now I'm panting, trying to tug the damn thing off. Thinking how embarrassing it'd be to have to go pay for the dress....THAT'S STILL ON ME!!! See the thing is...it wasn't even tight when I had it on. I could breath just fine. There wasn't fat spilling over the top of the dress or anything. Just a normal, cute sundress.

No way was I going to walk out of that dressing room letting anyone know I got myself stuck in it!

Or was I???

So I take a deep breath, exhale ALL the air out of my lungs (you know, to make my chest smaller), and try to tug over my head one more time.

Shit.

Stuck.

Totally, completely stuck.

As I have this dress stuck just under my boobs, my arms raised in the air trying to tug, I throw my head back, chanting a little prayer to God to please let me get out of this dress unscathed.

Then I see it....

A little sign stuck to the top of the mirror...

TO PREVENT THEFT, THIS DRESSING ROOM MAY BE MONITORED BY SAME SEX OFFICERS

You've got to be friggin' kidding me!! Now I'm looking around the ceiling frantically looking for the security cameras. Why? What was I going to do? Give a little wave or something?

Then I realize, when I approached the dressing room (right in between the men's clothes and the women's clothes), there was a middle aged Mexican man standing there. I assumed, waiting for his wife. You could go to a bank of rooms on the right, or a bank of rooms on the left. I looked around, looking for a sign saying which side was who's, but couldn't find one. So I just took the closest open room.

Now, as I'm standing there, arms reached up to the heavens, dress stuck at my boobs, looking for the security camera, I'm wondering if I accidentally walked into the men's side of the dressing room, and there are a bunch of male officers laughing their asses off!! And what social networking site will I be found on in the morning?!?

"17,643 views. Check this fat chick out. Must see. First she walks into the men's fitting room, then she gets stuck in her dress!"

I feel my face turn 4 shades of red. It's burning. My legs are getting shaky. I feel like I can see little stars in my vision. But what's a girl to do?? I gotta get the dress off!! I yank and pull and the dress pops off!!

Hallelujah there is a God!!

Now a normal person would high tail it out of that store like it were on fire.

Not me. I wanted that dress damn it. So I keep the size medium with me and head back to the rack. I find a large, and head to the dressing room.

A different one thank-you-very-much!! Certainly there is a separate security room for each set of dressing rooms. Shut-it...it's my story, and that's what I'm telling myself.

I try on the large, and I'm swimming in it. Like I can do the pretty, pretty princess spin and my body moves, but the dress doesn't. It's way too big.

I totally bought the medium size!! I high-tailed it home, and Googled any phrase I could think of about girl getting stuck in dress. I'm happy to report I'm fairly sure I haven't ended up on Facebook, Twitter, or TMZ.

And I even wore the dress yesterday. I got tons of compliments, and by the time I was done wearing it, I must have stretched it out enough, because it wasn't nearly as hard to get it off this time as it was the last.

Moral of the story....before you try on something that is a size smaller than you usually wear, check to see if the room is monitored by security. Then do so at your own risk!!