Monday, July 16, 2012


So, Mr. Goose Poop's 'ol beater ended up biting the dust a few months back, so we were in the market for a new car. 

Come to find out, "in the market for a new car" means two different things to Mr. Goose Poop and I. 

He ended up getting a black 2007 Ford Focus.  Ok...I can deal.  It's a nice looking car. 

Thank you Google, I was too lazy to walk to our driveway to take a picture

Again, thanks Google
 See...nice, isn't it?  Cute, no rust, nice and shiny, yadda yadda.  I can see myself driving this.  Tooling around town in something other than my Soccer Mom Van.

We go pick it up, and I take a look-ski inside.  OH LORD....

Again, thanks Google, I owe you for my laziness!
 See it??  Do ya?  Do you see it??  C'mon I know you do!  What's wrong with this picture?  I mean, other than being a little blurry thank you Google.

IT'S A STICK SHIFT PEOPLE!!  A. STICK. SHIFT!!  What the hell?  I don't DO stick shifts.  Like at all don't do them!

Looks like Mr. Goose Poop gets to tool around town in a new car, and Mrs Goose Poop is still driving the Soccer Mom Van.  Oh vey...

I mean, I have drove a stick before, like 14 years before.  And I wasn't all that great at it then.  Who knows how bad at it I am now?!?

I told myself I'd give myself 2 years to re-learn how to drive it.  In 2 years I'd be able to hop in, pop the parking break off, and be all "Hellz ya, this chic can drive a stick shift!"

A few weeks later, Mr. Goose Poop said it's time for me to learn how to drive it.  I'm all, ha, yea right.  Not now.  Oh and by the way, when I do in fact learn how to drive it, you won't be with me!  And he's all, ha, yea right!

But I wasn't kidding.  I didn't want him to come with me, I just wanted to hop in and see if I could do it.  He said, ain't happening!

One evening I wanted to run out and grab a movie for the kids, but Mr. Goose Poop was parked behind me in the driveway.  I asked him if he would go get the movie, he said no.  I asked him if he'd move his car, he said no.  Well, I'll show him I thought...I grabbed his keys, and started out the door.  Totally thinking he would stop me.  Uh...he is going to stop me right?  I mean, I haven't driven a stick in 14 years.  Hello?  Please come stop me, I thought as I got in the drivers seat!  Nope, he's not coming out to stop this ridiculous idea I had! 

Long story short, he did come out...but not to stop me.  He came outside because I had been sitting in the car for a good 5 minutes.  I was just giving him time to mull over the idea that his wife just got in his new car not knowing how to even drive the damn thing. 

He sat there staring at me and I begged him to please just go get the movie.  He said this is what I wanted, you know, getting in and learning without him.  Another long story short, after about 5 minutes of me begging him to go, and another 5 minutes of me preparing to let go of the clutch, I did it.  I totally frickin' did it!  I drove that stick all Mario Andretti style....!  I didn't even stall!

That is sooo me!!  Or, what I feel like zooming around town anyway!

Now I drive that car all over the dang place!  I don't do errands during the day, I wait for Mr. Goose Poop to get him from work so I can take the car.  I mean, it is more fuel efficient than the Soccer Mom Van!!

I still don't do hills.  Well, big hills anyway.  Thank goodness I live in a large city where I have many options to avoid hills.  You know, driving 2.2 miles out of my way to avoid that huge hill at Fuller & Fulton, yea, I so do that!

I'm just proud to say that my first driving-a-stick-experience-in-more-than-14-years didn't end up like this poor guy!
No Goose Poop's were hurt in the making of this photo


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